Living far away from your family isn’t always easy, especially when you have aging parents out-of-state. But as much as you want to protect them from everything the future may hold, it’s not always possible. Remember: They offered you space and freedom as you began your adult life, so it’s only fair you offer them the same courtesy as they enjoy their retirement.
Of course you’re still going to harbor some anxiety, though, and want to make sure they receive the best care possible. So how do you ensure that you are helping your parents get the best possible care without infringing on their independence?
Here are a few tips.
1. Determine What Type of Help They Need
Living hundreds of miles away, you may not know what kind of help or how much help your parents need. And even if they’re healthy and fully independent today, one negative health event can change everything. A trusted health care partner that can provide planning and support services can be an invaluable resource in this type of situation. Such a partner has the know-how and the resources to comprehensively assess your parents’ current and future needs.
2. Get the Family On Board
While you and your siblings have your parents’ best interests at heart, you may not always agree on the best way to help. Hold a family meeting, which includes your parents, you can help everyone get on board with your parents’ plans and wishes and determine the best way you can ensure their wishes are met.
You also need to discuss who in the family or circle of close friends will be the primary contact person. This is the person who will have direct access to the providers entrusted with providing hands-on care (if necessary), who knows about the medical appointments and who will help them age in place .
3. Gather Key Information
- When helping your parents’ organize their care, you need to gather a few key pieces of information, including:
- Future wishes
- Living wills (and determine who is the decision maker)
- Durable, health care and mental health powers of attorney
- Pre-hospital directives or “do not resuscitate” orders
- List of physicians
- List of current medications
- Current financial situation
- Information and copies of identification cards for insurance plans (medical, pharmacy, supplemental, long-term care, life insurance)
- Whether or not they plan to stay at home as they age
If you’re having trouble getting started, remember local community organizations may be able to point you in the right direction. Just make sure your parents are involved in any and all decisions about their future. No one likes having plans made behind their backs.
4. Use Technology
The Internet and social media have made it much easier for family members to stay in touch—no matter where they are. Using Skype or any type of video call system allows you to see your parents in real time. Specially designed software, wearable devices and apps can help keep your parents safer without limiting their independence. Many eldercare facilities or programs offer advice on what type of system works well, in their experience.
Planning for the care of an aging parent can be challenging, and is especially complicated when your parents live out of state. Through a proactive approach and proper planning, you can ensure better peace of mind for the entire family.
Not sure what types of coverage and planning options are available? Discover the difference between Sun Health at Home versus long-term care insurance so you and your parents can make the right choice.
